Live Music News & Reviews

It’s not like us at Londonvenueguide to be negative about much to do with live music, but in light of Axl Rose’s infuriating antics in the last week, which has seen Guns n’ Roses fans put up with delays of over an hour and half an hour at Reading and Leeds respectively, and bottling the band off at the O2 in Dublin after again being made to wait for more than an hour, we present what can be the ten most annoying things about attending gigs.

 1. People watching the entire gig through their camera viewfinder. Why do some people pay £30 to attend a gig when they could watch blurry footage in the comfort of their own home on YouTube? And what do people think they are going to do with the footage? It’s hardly going to rival Scorsese’s Shine a Light, it can only be an example of proving you are having a life through Facebook. Obvuuosly more importance is being placed on the proving than the actual having of a life.

2. Going to a gig and talking through the entire performance, especially if it’s along the lines of “I’ve not heard much of their stuff but they’re meant to be cool and a bit weird aren’t they?”

3. People who sing “their song” into their girlfriend’s ear. Out of tune.

4. Heckles to a female band member of “Get your tits out”. This was experienced a couple of years ago by Kate Nash at a gig at the Barfly, when one punter charmingly requested the singer to “Get your muff out”, prompting beau Ryan Jarman from The Cribs to hurl a pint glass at the offender. Even worse, When Florence Welch from Florence and the Machines attempted to crowd-surf at a gig in Leeds, itself an annoying gig habit, she broke down in tears when a member of the audience groped her. 

5. People who shout for an obscure early song/unreleased demo, which they know the band will never play and won’t ever play, but do it just to show how much of a OMGSUPERFAN they are.

6. One of the most annoying breed of gig goer has to be The Over-Protective Boyfriend. You’ve probably seen him, stood behind his girlfriend with his arms around her, often in the middle of a crowd of people who have the temerity to be dancing and bashing into him. When someone crashes into his delicate ladyflower he’ll say something along the lines of “watch it, that’s my girlfriend”. Yes mate, and she’s chosen to go down the front at a gig. She’s not going to snap in half if someone bashes into her and, if she is, you can both eff off up the back.

7. People who aren’t wearing deodorant or haven’t showered that day (particularly since the smoking ban).

8. People being overprotective of space - those who are SO protective of their space they just will not let you get through at all, refusing to budge even if you are returning to the spot you left earlier with an armful of drinks.

9. People at festivals who take their camping chairs down to the main stage and arrange them in a long line with no gaps, giving dirty looks to anyone who tries to get through, and forcing them to walk all the way sideways to the end of the line before heading forward again. When the ground is dry.

10. Which brings us on finally to bands arriving late. What people like Axl Rose probably don’t understand is that modern-day gig-goers have timing down to a fine art. Enjoy a few drinks in a nearby pub, but not too many that means you will be spending the entire gig running to and from the toilet, arrive, grab a decent spot in front of the stage, and, crucial point this, check your watch and decide there is time for one last visit to the toilet en route to the bar. Which all means you are in a good spot, with drink and empty of bladder, the perfect state to enjoy a fine performance. Unless the act is late, very late in the case of Guns n Roses. Which leads to inevitable internal debates, should I get one more drink? Do I have time to dash to the loo? This in particular may explain the bottles of “unknown substances” - according to a joint statement from the venue and promoters (urine, we suspect) which were hurled at Guns n’ Roses early on in their set by angry gig-goers, forcing them to walk off after four songs.

The true anal-retentive can start planning their Glastonbury weekend now:

http://www.clashfindergeneral.co.uk/s/g2010/

The line up for 2010 has finally been announced on the Guardian Online last night.

Our initial reaction is that the Pyramid Stage lineup is looking a bit weak, particularly on the Saturday - Scissor Sisters second from top of the bill? We had forgotten they existed! Plenty of good stuff on the Other Stage though, and as usual scratch beneath the surface and there is an enormous depth of quality, with plenty of up-and-coming alternative acts being represented such as Bombay Bicycle Club, The XX, Mumford & Sons, Temper Trap, Cymbols eat Guitars, but very few jaw-dropping acts hinted at by the organisers for this 40th anniversary event. Nice to see The Orb playing though! With a few TBC’s to fill there is time for some surprises yet.

We annoyingly lost a silver Canon Ixus 70 at Glastonbury. If anyone has found it plesae get in touch by commenting below. Many thanks.

Posters have started appearing on London’s Underground announcing ten O2 dates this July. More details to be announced at a press conference this afternoon

After tonight’s sanitised and frankly dull Brit Awards ceremony, London Venue Guide presents some highlights from when the good old days when the Brit Awards provided some entertaining and downright embarassing moments.

1. 1989 was the nadir as Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood made presenting the Brit Awards look as difficult as finding Sir Allen Stanford.

2. 1996: Oasis made us wince as Noel Gallagher states he has more money than the crowd before saying to Michael Hutchence “Has-beens shouldn’t present awards to gonna-be’s.”

3. 2000 and this time it’s Radio One DJ Brandon Block’s turn to make an idiot of himself as he somehow finds himself on stage, looking a little worse for wear, and ends up in an argument with Ronnie Wood.

4. 1996 and Jarvis Cocker gatecrashes Michael Jackson’s biblical style performance of Earth Song to waggle his bum and lift his top up.

5. Joss Stone 2007 fails to take heed of the advice it’s best to stay silent and look a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Her accent is harder to place than Christian Bale’s

Franz Ferdinand and Rolf Harris may be the only acts confirmed for Glastonbury so far, but there are a number of strong rumours flying about. Most people seem to agree the headliners will be Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young and Blur, plus possibly one other, according to Emily Eavis, who claims she has two headliners for the Saturday night. London Venue Guide has a feeling (hopes!) the fourth act could be Arctic Monkeys, who have confirmed a number of European festival appearances in August 2009, and whose Alex Turner is becoming something of an old Glastobury hand after a headline slot in 2007 and playing with the Last Shadow Puppets in 2008.

We would also love to see Radiohead back, particularly after last year when Thom Yorke caused a fuss by turning down a headline slot because he felt the festival wasn’t green enough. What are the chances? Well if they do play a UK Festival this year, Glastonbury can certainly claim to be the greenest, especially compared to V, which they headlined in 2007.

Other acts that could well play include Doves, who have a new album out this year and who are touring in March, and more likely, The Specials, newly reformed and as perfect a Glastonbury act as one could hope for. Orbital are also sure to play this year, with the old Glastonbury stalwarts having reformed in 2009 for a series of one-off gigs.

Bands who have confessed to their fans that they are playing include Lily Allen and Kaiser Chiefs.

More to come.

Let

According to a report in The Guardian, Glastonbury 2009 is currently 90% sold out. This spells good news for the festival after last year failed to sell out (although what a festival it was compared to the previous year!), although inevitably some people will choose not to pay the rest of their balance on their reserved tickets, in which case more will be on sale at the beginning of February.

In terms of headliners, Michael Eavis claims he has four already (2 British, 2 American) so early rumours of Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Blur could turn out to be correct. Let’s hope for Arctic Monkeys for the fourth slot, rather than the oft-mentioned Kaiser Chiefs.

It could be a year for reformed bands, with Blur and The Specials strong contenders to play, and many other reunifications being bandied about, not least The Libertines.